Club Ed: The Rules and Regulations
Club Ed: The Rules and Regulations is a short included on the Ed, Edd n Eddy Vol.1: Edifying Ed-ventures DVD. It details the requirements necessary to be a member of Club Ed. A narrator with a British accent details the rules and remarks on them while clips of Ed, Edd n Eddy play in order to further illustrate how the Eds follow them–or rather, how the Eds disobey these purported rules. Rules *'Rule 1: Attire' One must always wear appropriate clothing. *'Rule 2: Food' Always use your manners and eat healthy. *'Rule 3: Women' Always treat a lady with respect. *'Rule 4: Hygiene' Maintain a high level of cleanliness at all times. *'Rule 5: Work Ethics' Only offer quality services and products to your customers. *'Rule 6: Athletics' Maintain a high level of physical fitness. *'Rule 7: Art Appreciation' Educate oneself in all areas of the arts. Script *''find ourselves staring at a wall of Ed's room with a poster for Club Ed. Flies are hovering above a trash can near the poster. Next to the poster is a list of rules in fancy font. A British-accented narrator begins speaking.'' Narrator: "Club Ed is an establishment for the elite." pictures of Ed, Edd, and Eddy are shown. "One that members much reach a level of maturity and sophistication to be accepted in." camera pans out from a list of Rules and Regulations. "The following are some rules and regulations that keep Club Ed at its highest possible standard." camera has now fully panned out, and we a treated to the sight of Ed's room, decorated with Club Ed memorabilia. Rule 1: Attire *'Narrator:' "There is a dress code at Club Ed." clip of the Eds hastily getting dressed from ''"[[Hot Buttered Ed]" plays.]'' "To ensure that all its members wear appropriate attire." clip from ''"[[Sir Ed-a-Lot]" plays.]'' Eddy: "No way!" shoves a jester's hat onto Eddy's head. Narrator: "Formalwear–" [Ed is shown dressed like Eddy, wearing sunglasses, drinking lemonade, and slacking off in a lawn chair. The clip is from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]'' "–is expected at all major events." [Edd blows a bugle. This clip is from ''"Sir Ed-a-Lot." A new clip is then switched to: Eddy getting the door while in a dress from the same episode.]'' Jimmy: "It is I, Prince Jimmy!" [Eddy slams the door in Jimmy's face. A new clip comes on: Ed laughing, from ''"Hot Buttered Ed." The clip then changes to the kids playing "Spin the Bottle," from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]'' Narrator: "And during regular club meetings–" [A new clip plays: Edd blowing on a jug, from ''"Avast Ye Eds."]'' "–and social gatherings–" [New clip: the kids smiling at Jimmy in ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]'' "–members wear–" [The Eds in a trenchcoat, from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' "–their standard-issued Club Ed uniforms." [Clips from ''"Know it All Ed" showcasing the Eds in cowboy clothes play.]'' Lee: "I love a man in uniform." steps aside, showing Ed and Edd clinging to each other and cowering behind him. Narrator: "This promotes unity among the members." fart sound effect is heard. Rule 2: Food *'Ed:' [voice only, from ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "Cookies and milk!" Eddy: [seen from Jimmy's front-door peephole, from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed"]'' "What's with the food?" Narrator: "Nutrition is always a high priority to members of Club Ed." [May removes a hot dog from a laundry basket and prepares to eat it. Clip is from ''"Avast Ye Eds."]'' Edd: [cooking, from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed"]'' "Just as I thought. One teaspoon of butter, perfectly measured." Eddy: "Huh." [Clip is from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' Edd: [opening a cooler, from ''"Avast Ye Eds"]'' "The refreshments I've prepared are carefully blended fruit juices, guaranteed to quench a thirst and prevent scurvy." Eddy: [dressed as Edd, from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "Eddy, I too am thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct." Edd: offscreen "Parched!" Narrator: [Ed (as Eddy) shoves Eddy (as Edd) onto a faucet, filling him up. This clip is from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "A well-balanced diet–" [Ed is seen eating a bowl of fruit, from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' "–is expected at every meal." Eddy: [cooking, from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed"]'' "Ed, eggs, I need eggs!" getting Eddy eggs, falls down. Narrator: Edd and Eddy are bombarded with eggs "And table manners are highly enforced." Rule 3: Women *'Narrator:' "The members of Club Ed are all gentlemen." [The Eds race by Jonny, leaving him dazed; clip is from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' Sarah: back a tennis racket "Whoa." Eddy is on the other end "HEY!" Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah." Sarah: Eddy sailing into the net "Don't ever touch my racket!" [The clip is from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' [The Eds show up at the Construction Site in Western wear. This clip is from ''"Know it All Ed."]'' Eddy: his fist "Okay, Kankers! I'm calling you out!" Narrator: Eddy yells at the Kanker sisters "They treat ladies with respect and are always grateful for their company." scratches his butt. Eddy: "Draw!" Eds shoot at their enemies. Rule 4: Hygiene *'Narrator:' [as the Eds deal with a puddle in ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "This is an establishment of sophisticated young men that take pride in their hygiene and cleanliness." Eddy: [to Kevin, as Edd, from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "A pleasure to look at you! May I inspect your nostrils?" [A moldy piece of bread is on Ed's floor, drawing flies. Edd, stuck in an armchair, stares at it up close. This clip is from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]'' Edd: "Oh, the inhumanity!" Narrator: the camera pans over Ed's room "They will go to any lengths to keep tidy and make themselves presentable." [The Eds are seen searching their sock holsters in ''"Know it All Ed."]'' Eddy: "Boy, Double D, you stink." [Clip is from ''"Know it All Ed."]'' Edd: in [[Krankshaft No.5], from ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "Oh, it'll take weeks to disinfect these clothes!" Rule 5: Work Ethics *'Narrator:' [as Eddy bites on a wooden nickel in ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "Club Ed is known for taking work ethic seriously." Eddy: [with Edd, confronting Rolf during ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "That's a twenty-five cent prospecting fine!" Rolf: "But I am washing dishes, no-brain Ed-boy." Narrator: [as Edd and Eddy examine a squirt gun during ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "They only produce the highest quality of products." [Ed pretends to be a brain-sucking alien in ''"Know it All Ed."]'' Eddy: a turkey baster out of Ed's mouth "What we have here, is a squirt gun." Narrator: the kids rush [[Double D's House of Import-Exports] during ''"Know it All Ed"]'' "And refuse to be associated with improper moneymaking schemes." Eddy: [as Edd floats on a giant tire in ''"Avast Ye Eds"]'' "For a small fee, we'll offer two lucky passengers a relaxing cruise. Look how relaxed Double D is." pants. Narrator: [as Jimmy and Jonny cross a rickety rope bridge during ''"Avast Ye Eds"]'' "To them, the customer is always right." Jimmy: the [[Eddy's Creek Cruise|cruise] from ''"Avast Ye Eds"]'' "Eddy, you've run out of refreshments!" Eddy: "Hey kid, I'm on my break, do you mind?" Rule 6: Athletics *'Narrator:' [as Eddy runs on the beach during ''"Hot Buttered Ed"]'' "There is a fitness program implemented at–" [Edd bobs on the water. The clip is from ''"Hot Buttered Ed."]'' "–Club Ed to assure that–" [Sarah uses Eddy as a racehorse in ''"Sir Ed-a-Lot"]'' "–all its members are in top physical condition." Sarah: Eddy "Go faster!" Eddy: Sarah off and removing his bit "This stinks!" Narrator: "Not only strength–" [Ed pulls a fridge over, his tongue frozen to the inside. This clip is from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' "–but flexibility and endurance–" [A clip from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed" where Ed picks up his two friends is shown.]'' "–are tested in this very rigorous curriculum." Eddy: [to Edd while riding Ed as a camel during ''"Hot Buttered Ed"]'' "Why don't you do something useful? Like hurry up!" grits his teeth in anger. Rule 7: Art Appreciation *''[A clip plays of Edd measuring the wind from "Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed."]'' Narrator: "Like all well-rounded gentlemen–" [the Eds during ''"Know it All Ed" are shown]'' "–these young men–" [Ed is shown running with a paintbrush and paints while his friends follow with more art supplies. This clip is from ''"Who, What, Where, Ed."]'' "–are required to spend as much time on brain as brawn." Eddy: [staring down a bottle, imitating Edd, from ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "I'll move it with my brain!" Narrator: [as Eddy, imitating Edd, balances a bone on his finger during ''"Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed"]'' "There's a large amount of education–" [Edd is shown playing the pedal-steel in ''"Avast Ye Eds." However, the sound that comes out is the one played by Jimmy on his retainer in "Hands Across Ed."]'' "–invested in the arts at Club Ed." [Ed and Edd are seen painting. This clip is from ''"Sir Ed-a-Lot."]'' Eddy: "How's it going? Ooh, nice work!" [The Eds are seen practicing shadow puppetry in ''"Hot Buttered Ed."]'' Narrator: "As is reflected in all its talented colleagues." Eddy: Ed's head "Boink!" Narrator: returning to Ed's decorated room "As you can see, Club Ed is an organization with stature, with dignity, and only the highest quality in membership." Trivia *All of the clips featured in the video come from the episodes included on the DVD. *There are three backgrounds for the rules: white squares outlined in light blue, light blue horizontal lines on a white background, and purple vertical stripes on a light purple background. Gallery Rules ItIsKnowing.jpg|One Must Always Wear Appropriate Clothing. ThatIgnoranceAndHatesMayMournTheDead.jpg|Always Use Your Manners and Eat Healthy. ItIsBelieving.jpg|Always Treat a Lady with Respect. ButListenToTheColorOfYourDreams.jpg|Maintain a High Level of Cleanliness at All Times. ItIsNotLiving.jpg|Only Offer Quality Services and Products To Your Customers. SoPlayTheGameExistenceTillTheEnd.jpg|Maintain a High Level of Physical Fitness. OfTheBeginningOfTheBeginningOfTheBeginningOfTheBeginningOfTheBeginning.jpg|Educate Oneself in All Areas of the Arts. Other Pictures TurnOffYourMind.jpg|A Club Ed poster. RelaxAndFloatDownstream.jpg|Pictures of the three founders. LayDownAllThoughts.jpg|A complete list of rules and regulations. SurrenderToTheVoid.jpg|Ed's room decorated with Club Ed memorabilia. YetYouMaySeeTheMeaningOfWithin.jpg|The founders of Club Ed on one poster. LoveIsAllAndLoveIsEveryone.jpg|The credit for The Benson Company. Video See also *Ed, Edd n Eddy Vol.1: Edifying Ed-ventures *Plank's Perspective *My Best Friend Plank *''Sir Ed-a-Lot'' *''Who, What, Where, Ed'' *''Avast Ye Eds'' *''Know it All Ed'' *''Mirror, Mirror, on the Ed'' *''Hot Buttered Ed'' Category:Media Category:The Real World